The Gag Gift

"What is your return policy?" I asked the Big 5 cashier. I was as concerned with getting my money back as I was with not having to keep the roller skates. It was Kait's birthday, and she had been asking for roller blades for the past few weeks. Since roller blades were not our area of knowledge and expertise, Melinda had sent us information and prices for the quality brands and styles. The roller skates displayed next to the roller blades at the sports store where Dad and I were perusing gave me the idea. These white skates with purple wheels and laces would be perfect. I thanked the cashier, tucked the receipt in my wallet where I was sure not to lose it, and left the store.

Placing the large, brightly-wrapped box on Kait's lap later that night, I tried hard to mask my anticipation. As soon as the paper was torn back to reveal a cardboard box, she grinned, "Roller blades!" Perfect! Right on track. Her grin changed to a bit of a confused frown as more of the paper was torn away and she saw the picture of the roller skates on the side. She laughed, "I hope that's not what's inside the box." The box lid lifted to reveal the purple and white skates. She laughed harder, "No! I hope this is a gag gift!"

"That isn't what you wanted?" we asked, laughing and trying to look innocent. "That's what you've been asking for." "Oh, that's not what you wanted?" we said to her response. "Maybe what's in this one, then." Another box of the same size and shape was pulled from behind the chair. The black, grey, and red roller blades that she pulled from that box were more what she was hoping for and expecting. But as you can see from these pictures, I think she secretly liked the skates best.

WSU duathlon

"I breathe in, I breathe out, I put one foot in front of the other..." The bars of the country song ran over and over through my mind. Ok, maybe he meant the words to lament the pain of life after love and I was using them as I was huffing and slogging my way through the second 5k of my duathlon, but the words still applied. "Al-most-there-don't-slow-down," I stomped out each word as I skipped every other step up a short flight of of concrete stairs from the parking lot to the cross-country path above. The almost 90 degree sun beat down as I made the hairpin turn and started up the last hill before the path would dip down and curve around toward the home stretch.

I had entered a duathlon that was hosted at WSU in Vancouver. Pretty sure that I would drown on the first swimming leg of a triathlon, I decided a duathlon - including only the running and biking events - would be the way to go. A 5k run, transition to the bike, a 15 mile bike ride, transition back to running, and a second 5k run along the same route to finish - that didn't sound too bad. "It'll be fun," I told myself. Well, fun wasn't the word I'd use right now to describe the experience. I was just happy to be somewhere in the middle of the racers and not in last place. My stride lengthened. I searched for every energy reserve to speed me toward the finish line. 1:57:18 the large, digital numbers read. It was over. I had reached my three, low goals - 1) to finish, 2) to not be last, and 3) to finish in under 2 hours. I plunked down on the grass next to my bike, only the first few measures of the song running through my mind as I focused on what was really important, "I breathe in, I breathe out ..."

Banana Art

Growing up did your mother ever tell you that you couldn't have a cookie until you've had a piece of fruit or a vegetable? Or maybe you tell that to your kids. Anyone can choke down a less appealing piece of healthy food if they have a dessert waiting for them once they swallow. But when no dessert is promised, how can you get someone to each a more healthy, less exciting morsel? The answer is banana art.

Change the outside to more interesting and the inside will be more appealing - at least this is what Sharon and Joanie learned in their fruit marketing at the 3rd Place(the coffee shop where I now work twice a week). If they put bananas in a bowl and sell them along with the cookies, coffee, and pastries, the bananas would sit there until they turned brown. But decorate the peel with colored-marker works of art - pictures and witty sayings - and the response is a laugh and "I'll take one of those." For who could resist a banana with "Apples are for sissies," "Leg spasms be gone," "Still cheaper than a gallon of gas," or a line of gymnastically inclined stick figures brightly drawn on the side? So the next time you are trying to tempt yourself or your kids or anyone else with a less than saliva-stimulating banana - try some banana art. It's sure to be ap"peal"ing!